This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
