absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
