did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
