Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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