butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Nicole vs. Life
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
