you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
