Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
