Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
