I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
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