Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
