whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
