Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
