Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
