So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
