So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
