either way he was missing a nipple.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
