i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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