It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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