Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
