I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Randomize
