some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
