if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I just found a bag of teeth...
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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