yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
