Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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