You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize