i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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