I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I don't deserve a penis
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize