He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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