like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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