Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize