dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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