But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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