Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
