and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
why do cheetos always look like penises
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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