Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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