1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
