why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
