who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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