I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
