It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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