I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Randomize
