Plan B is the new Plan A
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
