You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize