oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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