check it out our google latitudes are spooning
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
