Don't you send me to vm
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize
