this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
