Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
