Redeem this text for a blowjob
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
