He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
