I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
