Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
