My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
