I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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