Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
