Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
