We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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