and my herpes radar will keep us safe
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
