Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
