Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize