I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
