sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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